For My Bruderlein!
by YukiSkye
Summary: Ah poor, boring Ludwig who is going to be alone for the rest of your life. But not to fear because you have me, the awesome older brother, the great Gilbert to remedy that! LudwigxFeliciano
1. Chapter 1

**Warning:** Shounen-ai, minor bad language curtesy of our favorite Prussian, and lame attempts at humor.

**Summary:** In which the great Gilbert attempts to get Feliciano together with his boring, too-strict-to-be-normal brother.

* * *

Gilbert cackled evilly as he spotted his target. No he was definitely _not_ stalking the naïve Italian. He was planning. Planning the right time and moment. He was sure his little brother wouldn't approve of this but who cares anyway? He should be happy he had such a great older brother because he, the great Gilbert, was spending his precious time for said little brother.

_Just you wait. Oh __brüderlein __you're going to sing my praises. _

Well really, his brother couldn't blame Gilbert for his plan because he was the one who gave him the idea in the first place.

Gilbert was eating his breakfast that morning and noticed that Ludwig was doing work across from him. He scoffed at that. Who the hell does work in the morning? Don't answer because it was a rhetorical question.

So anyway, the blond was just sitting there scribbling stuff on papers and Gilbert started wondering if Ludwig had a life. Well you can't blame him for wondering because he couldn't remember the last time his brother wasn't working. He was always serious about everything. Joke or be sarcastic and he'll scowl. Play pranks on him and he'll yell. He's like the antagonist of fun. Heck if he even knows what the definition of fun even is.

Gilbert sat there staring and contemplating when it hit him. A frickin' epiphany.

Ludwig needs to get laid.

Heck yeah. The classic solution. Although it might not get that stick up his ass out, maybe it'll come out enough so that it could be removed via surgery.

But finding someone would be difficult. If he just brought a random person, he'd kick them out then kick his ass. Maybe someone he knows that would do this. He started listing everyone he knew.

Francis might. The guy was a grade A pervert and molests just about everyone. He's sure he'd agree. Hmm... but then again Ludwig would probably knock his teeth out if he tried anything. So who else? His mind came blank when he tried to think of anyone else who might comply. Darn now that he thought about it, he's surrounded by a bunch of un-fun people. How depressing.

Arthur is almost as much of a stuffy person as Ludwig is but at least he's actually dating someone. No matter how hamburger obsessed that guy is. Seriously does that guy not know how to get fat? The former thought depressed him even more. Why was he related to such a bland and boring guy? He just wanted to cry.

Oh but wait. Back up. Speaking of knocking Francis' teeth out, Ludwig did do that once. Well unfortunately for him, the Frenchman's teeth was still perfect but that was beside the point.

Wasn't Ludwig protecting Feliciano?

Gilbert allowed a smirk.

Francis had kidnapped him and attempted to sell him for a few bucks. Gilbert didn't think he'd ever seen such a violent side to his brother before. He briefly wondered what it would have been like to poke Francis' body with a stick just for kicks. But that was beside the point.

Oh why didn't he think of Feliciano sooner? He's perfect! And so he shall plan for kidnapping number two.

Across the table, Ludwig blandly watched his brother. He seemed to have been in deep thought then he was on the verge of crying and now he was giving a creepy smile and cackling to the wall behind him. The blonde shook his head. He needs a saner brother but unfortunately, you can't buy them in a ninety-nine cent store or anything like that so Ludwig just continued doing his work.

So here Gilbert was, watching his target come closer. He was absolutely not feeling like some kind of rapist. Nope.

A little bit more…

"Hey you! What the hell are you doing hiding around the corner of my house? You creepy pervert!"

Gilbert swiveled around and saw… uh oh it was Elizaveta. Shit he was at her house?

As the red-eyed Prussian was panicking, Elizaveta slid the window open fully, jumped down with a frying pan, and rushed at him at full speed.

"Holy-"

Black.

Gilbert groaned as he opened his eyes and rubbed his sore head. Damn that's one violent girl. He'd hate to see what she'd be like if she was actually a guy.

_Not that it would make much of a difference_, he thought grumpily.

He sat up, still feeling dizzy from the hit. Oh shoot! Feliciano! It wasn't likely he'd be around though.

The Prussian let out a frustrated groan and laid back down on the pavement. There goes that chance. As he lay there pondering his next move, a random dog ran on him. _On_ him.

Gilbert shot up and glared at the retreating white dog.

"Damn mutt!"

He moved to scramble after the animal when he got trampled a second time.

"Wait Hanatamago! Berwald didn't mean to look at you like he's going to fry you and eat you!"

A few moments later, he was walked on by said Berwald who was mumbling something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "Yes I did."

"Shit! What am I? A doormat you could just step on? I'll get you later," Gilbert growled resolutely. Nobody tramples on the awesome Gilbert and gets away with it! No one!

He finally successfully got up and brushed himself off.

Damn psycho woman and her frying pan. Who just hits someone for hanging around their house for a few… Oh… Vash.

Grumbling under his breath he started forward when the door opened. Gilbert quickly hid behind the corner again and peeked around it.

And there was Feliciano, happily strolling down the front steps with a cookie. Elizaveta was standing by the door with her husband, Roderich, behind her.

"Bye Feliciano! Visit us next time," Elizaveta said sweetly, waving.

"Okay!" the Italian replied cheerfully, waving back then merrily went along his way.

Heh I guess I'm lucky this time.

And so Gilbert continued to follow Feliciano for the perfect opportunity to lure him in. A few minutes of following later, Honda Kiku along with his very own brother came into sight. The Italian seemed to be late because Ludwig was scolding him.

_Hmm… Better be more careful lest he catches me sneaking around._

The small group was moving now and Gilbert stealthily trailed after them like a shadow. But after about ten minutes, he began to grow impatient.

_Where the hell can they be going anyway? Oh wait. This is perfect._

Ahead of them was a large bustling crowd. He could easily snag Feliciano but then what? Ludwig would be sure to look for him when he finds out the Italian isn't beside him anymore.

Gilbert allowed a devious smile to curl on his lips. _Let him find Feliciano then. _

He skillfully snuck behind his target and once they entered the fray of people walking about, he yanked Feliciano's arm and quickly led him away.

Once they reached an area with less people, he turned around and grinned triumphantly.

"Hello Feliciano."

"Eh?" was the confused reply. "Oh! It's Ludwig's fratello!"

"That's right. It's Gilbert."

"So what're you doing here?" he asked like they were old friends and hadn't met only once or twice.

"Oh nothing much just walking around." _And plotting._

"Okay then. Want to join me? Ludwig was taking me and Honda to the library," Feliciano continued.

"Oh no thanks. I'm not sure if I should get in the way of my brother today. Say," Gilbert said, grinning slyly, "Why don't me and you hang around a little. Get to know each other better."

"Sure! Well if Ludwig doesn't mind or else he'll scold me again," Feliciano enthusiastically agreed obliviously.

"Don't worry. I'm his brother. He wouldn't mind if I borrowed you for a few minutes."

No that wasn't the feeling of being a perv creeping into the edges of his conscious as he looked at the trusting eyes of Feliciano.

"Okay! Let's go to the park!" And Gilbert found the role reversed as Feliciano pulled him by the arm towards the scenic landscape.

Now they were walking together down a dirt road, the fresh, cool breeze of autumn twirled colorful autumn leaves about. The park was in a flurry of fiery yellows, reds, oranges, and browns. Feliciano was talking animatedly with some wild gesturing here and there and Gilbert listened with half an ear, nodding occasionally.

_Wonder when Ludwig would find us._

While they were passing one of the garbage cans situated on random spots of the park, the silver-haired man noticed something. Upon closer inspection was a magazine for women's fashion. It so happened that he also noticed Francis walking up the road and a rather irate-looking Arthur coming from the opposite. Neither had spotted the other yet.

Gilbert let out a wicked grin. _This might be fun._

"Eh? What're you doing?"

The Prussian let out a low chuckle. "You'll see," he said mysteriously.

He pulled out the magazine from the trash and hid behind he tree. He then knelt to the ground and slid the glossy mess of pages towards Francis.

"Now watch the fun," he instructed Feliciano, who looked on curiously.

Francis' attention turned towards the ground at the sound of something sliding towards him. He picked up the magazine and flipped through it, seemingly very happy with his luck.

Too preoccupied with his new find, he bumped into Arthur, who had his gaze on the road.

"What the? Watch it you idiot!" Arthur snapped.

"Me? Sorry but you were the one who bumped into me," Francis shot back.

"Whatever," the Brit muttered and moved to walk past.

"Oh? You're not going to put up a fight? Then you admit… defeat?"

Arthur immediately swiveled to face Francis and growled "Never."

"Hmm okay then," Francis said and shoved the magazine in his rival's face. Arthur angrily tore the offending thing from his line of vision and looked at it. His face immediately twisted into horror.

"What the hell? Why'd you give me this piece of crap?" he demanded loudly.

Francis just coolly brushed some hair from his face. "Well I saw how angry you were and I thought that it might cheer you up if you went shopping."

Arthur's face turned red with rage. "Are you implying I'm a girl?" he shrieked. The nearby pedestrians had their attention turned towards the two and were slowly inching away.

"I'm sure you'd make a cute one," Francis said, winking flirtatiously.

Arthur was shaking now but he seemed to be trying to calm himself down by chanting, "He's not worth it, he's not worth it."

Francis snaked his arms around Arthur's waist and pulling him closer, whispered something in his ear. This seemed to be the snapping point for the green-eyed man. He ripped the magazine in half and with a cry, kneed him in the groin (this made Gilbert as well as the surrounding male audience flinch), and punched him in the face.

Arthur breathed heavily as he loomed over the curled up Frenchman trying to placate the pain in his nether regions.

It was then that Alfred was seen running towards the KO'd Francis and the now relaxed Arthur.

"Arthur! I finally found you." The newcomer was huffing and puffing as though he had been running for hours.

"Yes you found me," he stated calmly.

"Um… Listen I'm sorry about…" Alfred trailed off, seemingly at a lost at what to say.

Arthur just looked at him for a while as though contemplating something. Alfred began to fidget under the gaze.

"I guess," Arthur began slowly as though testing the words. "It's okay."

The bespectacled man let out a cheer and caught the shorter in a bear hug.

"Doesn't mean I'm not still angry so put me down," Arthur protested, trying to shove Alfred off of him.

Eventually Alfred did let go and together they began walking back up the road.

"See you later Francis," Alfred called (did Gilbert detect a smug tone?) behind him to which he got only a groan in response.

After the spectacle was over, Gilbert grinned with satisfaction. Not only did he get a wonderful show but he had also patched up the relationship between Alfred and Arthur. Wow he is good.

"Okay Feliciano let's keep go-"

But Feliciano was nowhere to be seen. Darn it. While Gilbert had been feeding his (not) over-inflated ego, the Italian had slipped out of sight.

He growled in frustration. _Should've known something like this would happen._

And so, Gilbert began his search through the _huge_ park. Large enough to host a lake and a small forest.

I'd be lucky if I could find him in one day and by then, Ludwig's probably found him.

It's been thirty minutes now and he didn't want to admit it but Gilbert was getting anxious. It was no longer about if his brother is going to find Feliciano first but whether the Italian isn't in a ditch somewhere.

"Argh! Where the hell are you Feliciano?"

"Wah! It's Gilbert!"

That was Feliciano!

Gilbert looked around trying to locate the voice. His eyes wandered up a tree and there amongst the colorful branches was the missing Italian who happily waved at him.

"What the? How'd you get up there?" Gilbert demanded.

"Well I saw this really cute kitty and I thought maybe I could bring him home!" Feliciano chirruped.

The Prussian standing below him sighed. Of course it was some stupid reason like that that got him stuck in a tree. He obviously couldn't get down if he's still there.

"Oi Feliciano! Jump down!"

"Eh? But it's so high!"

Gilbert just gave an aggravated sigh. "Just do it! I'll catch you!"

Feliciano seemed to hesitate but then gave a large grin. "Okay!" And without further warning, dropped down from the branch.

Gilbert jolted but quickly composed himself in favor of making sure the Italian didn't go splat on the ground.

With a small 'oof!' Gilbert had a bundle of Feliciano in his arms.

"What the hell? You could've given me a warning before you jumped!"

The Italian didn't seem phased by the exclamation and merely said with a smile, "I knew Gilbert wouldn't let me get hurt. I trust you!"

The Prussian rolled his eyes at the childish sentiment but nevertheless felt happy. Anyone would after a shitty day of being stepped on, mauled, and spending half an hour frantically racing through miles of park with the only good part being Arthur kicking Francis' ass. He then proceeded to put Feliciano back on the ground.

"You do realize that I'm not my brot-whoa! Hey!"

Feliciano had suddenly hugged him as, from what Gilbert could perceive, thanks. Not used to people randomly hugging him, he awkwardly patted the Italian on the back.

"Um you're welcome."

And before he knew it, Feliciano was suddenly yanked off of him.

"Ludwig!"

"Feliciano! Do you have any idea how long we've searched for you? We thought you might have been kidnapped!" the German yelled.

"Wah! I'm sorry!"

Ludwig sighed in exasperation and grabbing Feliciano's wrist, started to lead him out but not before turning to Gilbert and saying "I don't know what you're planning but leave Feliciano out of it." And he was off again.

After an initial state of confusion of what the hell just happened, he watched as Ludwig led his target away.

Feliciano partially turned around and waved at Gilbert and cried, "I'll see you later!" then winced and whined to Ludwig, "Ouch. Ludwig my wrist hurts. Can you let go a little?"

After watching the duo disappear into the trees and, presumably, to look for their missing Japanese friend, Gilbert gave a cackle. Success! Now for the finishing touch tomorrow.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow. I had initially planned this to be a one shot but somehow it stretched on to a two shot. Besides, Gilbert needs more spotlight XP

Bruderlein = Little brother in German. Sorry if it turns out to be the wrong word or if I'm using it wrong DX


	2. Chapter 2

Finally! The adventures of the awesome Gilbert continues! Cue epic music!

* * *

Tomorrow found Gilbert running around on his quest to find Feliciano, the pasta-loving, bouncy, oblivious, and useless Italian.

He checked at his house but Romano, with irritated impatience, told him Feliciano had gone out somewhere and promptly slammed the door in his face.

After making a mental note to get Romano later on, he went to find his best friend, Honda, but the Japanese shook his head and said he hadn't seen Feliciano so far yet.

He also went to different places the Italian might be found in. He went to the park, Feliciano's favorite Italian restaurant, in random holes… Hey you never know. It's not like he hasn't fallen into a hole before and in fact, Ludwig even said that it was part of a daily routine. But the results of his search were clear. No Feliciano.

Gilbert stomped around the street and gave out a frustrated yell.

"Dammit! Where are you!"

"Nah Gilbert. Are you looking for someone?"

The Prussian swiveled around and sure enough was Feliciano with a slice of pizza in one hand. He beamed at the sight of his target.

"Actually Feliciano I was just looking for you," Gilbert told the younger male.

"Eh? Me?" Feliciano asked in childish curiosity.

"Yup and I need you to come with me," Gilbert continued and began leading the Italian towards his destination but stopped when he realized Feliciano was still standing on the same spot, looking unsure.

The red-eyed man perked an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"Um Ludwig said I shouldn't follow you anymore or listen to what you say," Feliciano explained in a tentative tone, shifting around under Gilbert's disbelieving stare.

Damn you Ludwig! Don't you know I'm doing this for your own good? It seems you want to remain single for the rest of your life! But no matter because you're lucky to have me, the awesome Gilbert, as your big brother so I'll let this little obstacle slide.

"Gilbert? You're not mad are you?"

Feliciano's anxious inquiry brought the (not) egotistic man from his thoughts, who gave a grin.

"No I'm not angry. It's just that I really wanted you to walk around with me for a little while. I promise I won't try anything," Gilbert said, trying to coax Feliciano to once again, abandon the heeding of his brother.

The Italian looked hesitant, like he wanted to come but for some reason unperceived kept him from hanging out with the great Gilbert.

"But Ludwig is going to be mad and he'll yell at me. He looked so scary and he was very angry yesterday. I don't want him to worry about me."

"Oh that's too bad," Gilbert said with fake disappointment, "I received a box-load of pasta yesterday at my house and I don't know what to do with them all. I guess I'll just throw them all out."

No, Gilbert did _not_ feel like a pedophile trying to lure a trusting, innocent, cute little kid into his van with promise of sweets and candy.

But there probably is no difference because Feliciano might as well be that little kid…

Wow he has fallen down into an all-time low hasn't he?

But the mention of pasta had worked because Feliciano perked up at the word and said hopefully, "Pasta?"

"Yup. Pasta. If you want some, you're gonna have to come to my house," Gilbert said for the finishing blow.

After a few seconds more of indecisiveness, Feliciano finally nodded his head. "Okay!"

"Great! Let's get going then," Gilbert said in triumph.

So the next five minutes were spent with the Italian walking beside him, talking animatedly as usual until he abruptly stopped all motion.

Gilbert who was listening with only half an ear glanced at his companion curiously.

Feliciano was staring at an ice-cream shop they were walking past with a look of glee.

"Gilbert! Let's get some ice-cream!" he exclaimed.

"Feliciano it's autumn," the Prussian pointed out blankly as a bout of chilly air tousled his hair around.

"So? Ice-cream is good for all seasons!" And with that proclamation, went into the shop, dragging Gilbert along behind him who idly wondered, _when'd he finish his pizza?_

They exited a few moments later, Feliciano with a large scoop of chocolate ice-cream and Gilbert with the loss of three dollars from his wallet.

The Prussian sighed in slight annoyance at the minor distraction. Besides, what sane person eats ice-cream in forty degree weather? But Feliciano was never sane anyway.

"Na Gilbert. Don't you think Ludwig would be mad if he found out?" the Italian asked in the midst of slurping down his sweet confection.

Gilbert shrugged and simply replied, "He won't find out."

"But what if he does? What do you think he'll do?" Feliciano continued to prod at the subject. "He'll yell at me and-and he might not talk to me anymore! What if he hates me?"

Seeing as the Italian was about to frazzle his brain thinking of the various ways his brother will 'hate' him, Gilbert rolled his eyes and said, "Relax. Ludwig'll never hate you anyway."

"Eh? Really?" Feliciano asked hopefully. His companion just nodded wearily. Seriously, it seems no matter how much anyone assured him, he always thinks Ludwig will hate him.

A strong gust of wind blowing by got the forever cheerful Italian shivering.

"It's c-cold."

"I told you ice-cream wouldn't be a good idea," Gilbert said rolling his eyes.

Feliciano hugged himself in a vain attempt to get warm again. "But it tastes so good," he whined.

"Well can't you wait until we get to my house? It's only ten more min-"

What is up with Feliciano and personal space? The Italian had decided it'd be a good idea to cling to his arm and apparently it gives people the wrong public image because people stared at them as they walked by. Stupid people can't mind their own business and Gilbert expressed that opinion loudly.

"What the hell're you all looking at?" he snarled. Yeah that's right. Walk away.

He turned to the clingy Italian and shook him off and oh geez. Now he knew why Feliciano could get away with almost anything.

He was met with the most piteous looking pair of eyes he'd ever seen in his life. Feliciano had his head downcast with a pair of tearing eyes reminiscent of a puppy's. He'd often wonder why his strict brother could be so lenient to Feliciano and now he knew why.

This is so unfair! If his prick of a brother couldn't resist those eyes, how the hell can he?

Gilbert groaned in defeat and took off his own jacket and draped it over Feliciano.

"Yay! Thanks Gilbert!" the pasta-lover cheered.

Now he was the one freezing his ass off.

Ludwig better get a frickin' parade planned for me.

~*~

Across the street, Alfred and Arthur stared at the scenario in wonder. Wow Ludwig isn't going to like this.

"Okay Alfred you had your fun. Let's get going now," Arthur sighed.

The American just pouted and said, "Oh c'mon. You were curious too."

Arthur groaned. "Alfred just let this go. Don't go spreading the wrong idea."

But Alfred wasn't there anymore. No big money to bet what he's going to do.

Spread the scandal around.

Arthur rolled his eyes and attempted to find his companion and knock some sense into him.

~*~

It took twice the time it usually took to get to Gilbert's (Ludwig's) house which wasn't surprising considering Feliciano's attention span was the length of a hamster's.

Once inside, he immediately led the other into his bedroom and said a stern, "Stay here," before closing the door. He didn't know why because really, what was keeping Feliciano from trashing his room or leaving besides two useless little words?

Part of Gilbert's plan was to keep Feliciano in his room. But that wasn't going to be easy.

He wandered into the kitchen and started on making pasta. Well, if he was going to make the Italian stay for a few hours, the world will just have to deal with the pasta shortage.

Halfway through his cooking, Feliciano had popped out of nowhere announcing he smelled pasta and came down.

"Feliciano you have to stay in the room or else I won't give you anything," Gilbert reprimanded so much like a parent telling a child they can't watch T.V. before eating all their carrots.

"But Gilbert-" Feliciano began whining but was cut off by a frowning Prussian who said firmly, "No. Now go back upstairs until I'm done."

Feliciano obeyed though looking depressed and slumped back upstairs.

Gilbert sighed and went back to the pasta, grumbling. This is getting to be a pain. Maybe it isn't so bad that Ludwig is going to be alone for the rest of his life. At least it wasn't him.

He decided to go back upstairs while waiting for the spaghetti to finish to supervise. He had been fully expecting his room to look like a typhoon occurred in his room. However what he got was a lot worse.

Feliciano was standing in the middle in the bedroom, his back turned to Gilbert, staring at something.

Oh no. How the hell did he find those? There was no mistaking it. He could see one of the pictures in the photo album. It was his secret stash of-

"Ne Gilbert? Why're there pictures of Roderich here?"

Feliciano just confirmed his worse fear. Hasn't anyone ever taught the boy that snooping through a person's room is rude?

But Gilbert wasn't about to ask as he lunged for his collection of photos. The Italian gave a squeak and sidestepped out of the way, leaving the Prussian to crash face-first onto the floor but he quickly recovered however.

"Give those back!" he demanded to Feliciano who looked like he had just realized something.

"Oh. Were you going to give these to Elizaveta?"

Gilbert almost died right then and there. Hell if he'll ever give his collection to that woman! First of all, she'll keep that album if she ever got her hands on it and secondly, she's going to maul him with the frying pan until there's no more Gilbert in the world and god knows the world needs him!

Shaking his head to rid these thoughts, he stood up and cautiously approached Feliciano the way someone might approach a wild animal.

"Feliciano…"

However the Italian's eyes had lit up, much to the distress of Gilbert.

"Whatever you're thinking, it's not it."

Feliciano immediately looked downfallen. "Oh… So then you weren't keeping them for memory. Then… that means it's a gift to Elizaveta!"

Gilbert almost choked.

"Do you want me to deliver this for you?"

Warning signals were reeling in his head. Why didn't he just grab it sooner?

Mistaking the silence from Gilbert's mental berating for confirmation, he chirruped a cheerful "Okay," and was on his way before the older man could say otherwise.

_Crash and burn Gilbert, crash and burn_, he lamented, trying to mentally prepare himself for a world of pain by frying pan. Of all the things Feliciano was useless in, he couldn't stink at running. No one could catch Feliciano when he's running away. No one. But Gilbert be damned if he didn't try.

So now, the Prussian was shooting after the Italian through the streets, shouting for him to stop for all he was worth all the while chanting how dead he was.

This wasn't working. Feliciano was one of the fastest runners there was so Gilbert would probably be spent in no time. Think! What could he do to stop his untimely demise? What the hell would Ludwig do in situations like these?

"Feliciano! Pasta!"

And no sooner had the magic word flew out of his mouth did the Italian screech to a halt.

"Eh? Where?"

Gilbert took this opportunity to tackle him down and they both landed on the ground with a small 'oof.'

"Gotcha! Now hand over my photo album."

The frightened and scratched up Feliciano obediently handed the book back, which Gilbert took with relief. Looks like he'll live to see another day.

Until a familiar pair of black boots obstructed his line of vision.

Well this is just peachy isn't it? Hell really has it out for him.

Gilbert looked up and sure enough was Ludwig's less than happy face with his arms crossed. It's the dreaded Gilbert-is-so-dead-but-not-before-listing-his-'evils' stance.

"What the hell is going on?" he growled.

The Prussian immediately got up, chuckling nervously.

"Um… We were playing… tag?"

Ludwig helped Feliciano off the ground and gave an admonishing, "I thought I told you to stay away from him." The Italian of course was quick to apologize.

The German sighed as he continued babbling off sorry over and over again.

"It's okay Feliciano. I hope you know not to repeat this again. Is that understood?"

Of course the sparkly-eyed boy would agree and of course he would also give a surprise hug. But Gilbert stared unbelievingly as Feliciano lent up and gave a short peck on the lips.

He began to sputter out a sentence in between incoherent incredulous noises.

"Huh?"

Ludwig, who had turned a slight tint of red, cleared his throat into his fist while Feliciano turned to Gilbert.

"Yeah! We've been together since yesterday!" the pasta-lover chirruped.

"Anyway," Ludwig interrupted, pushing Feliciano behind him. "Gilbert what the hell were you trying to do behind my back?"

Gilbert sputtered a little bit more before exclaiming, "Me? I've just been trying to help you two get together already. Especially you Ludwig, you stick-up-the-ass. You should thank me because I was doing you a favor."

Ludwig frowned at that. "You're doing me a favor by going on a date with Feliciano?"

"What! Where'd you hear that from?" Gilbert choked.

"Everywhere," the German simply replied.

"That's a load of B.S. We weren't doing anything. Not much anyway," Gilbert protested against the really unfair judgment passed by his own brother. These past two days really had it out for him. Screw endangered animals, there's only one Gilbert thanks. And thus felt Ludwig's pull on his shirt collar was really unfair.

"Not much?" Ludwig seethed.

"Okay! Okay I was kidding! Geez! I guess getting laid doesn't solve anything. Congrats on being the enemy to fun for the rest of your life," Gilbert ranted, ignoring how Ludwig choked upon those words. "I was just trying to help because I was nice enough to waste two days of my life for this plus getting through all the pains from today and yesterday. You should be grateful for getting help from someone like me!"

Ludwig rolled his eyes. He's so full of it, Earth may not be able to support his ego much longer and crash straight towards the sun. The planet on death row could thank Gilbert if that does happen with pitchforks and torches. The blonde looked upon his brother unappreciatively.

"Okay. Fine," he said slowly. "I'll let you off this time." Gilbert mentally cheered. He finally sees the light!

"After I knock some sense into you."

The hallelujah chorus was abruptly cut short complete with the needle scratch.

"What! So you're gonna beat me up for all I've done for you? After all I've been through? You can't beat me up! I'm too awesome!" Gilbert protested then added as an afterthought, "And I'm your older brother but mostly 'cause I'm awesome! So you can't do that!"

Ludwig snorted at that. "Yeah older in age but not in mind. And you shouldn't have meddled with my affairs so that gives me the right to make sure you don't do it again."

Wow this was like the epitome of ungratefulness. He'll remember this one for the books.

"Wait! Before you do anything, can I at least say something to Feliciano?" Gilbert (not) pleaded.

Ludwig eyed him suspiciously but let his (older?) brother go and stepped away a little. Feliciano smiled cheerfully at the doomed Prussian. How nice of him to grin at his funeral.

"Well Feliciano. As you can see, I'm about to die after all. So. Listen carefully." He took a deep breath.

And high-tailed it out of there.

"I WANT TO HAVE A STATUE IN MY HONOR WHEN I'M DEAD YOU HEAR ME? 'CAUSE DAMMIT I DESERVE IT!"

"GILBERT!"

Well it doesn't matter because he has to come home _sometime_. He's a dead man walking no matter how much he'll try to avoid Ludwig. And they both know it.

Ludwig is a patient guy. Gilbert may have played a slight part in his relationship now with Feliciano but he's going to pay dearly for messing around with his head. Meanwhile though, he'd better take Feliciano to the nearest Italian restaurant before he dies of pasta-deprivation.

* * *

**A/N:** And that's a wrap. In case you were wondering what the hell our favorite Prussian was planning in his mysterious little head, he was planning to get Ludwig jealous and then the next day to somehow lock the two together in his brother's bedroom. But that didn't turn out good because he almost got death by frying pan.

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention on the first chapter. I have nothing against Francis. I love him and his preverted nature for all I'm worth! XD


End file.
